just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
