Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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