Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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