GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
