weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
