If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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