True but thats because hes a fetus.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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