yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
sex in a hospital.. check
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
