At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she told me i tasted like america
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
