How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
