What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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