while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need to calm my uterus...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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