"it" just moved
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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