you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
