all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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