I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
