apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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