i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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