Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
