This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
