i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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