thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
