So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
