Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
