Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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