She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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