you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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