Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
