So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
