ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i need some magic done to my vagina
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
