From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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