My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
