Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
