I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
