Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
