mondays should just be called national damage control day
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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