Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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