Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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