I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
