Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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