He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
