I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
