u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
