she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
