Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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