The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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