Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
foreskin is a definite game changer
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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