so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
