So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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