I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
