I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize