Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
