How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
