IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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