he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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