Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
