We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The Olympian is in my bed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
