Christians are straight up FREAKS
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
