All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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