i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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